Are We Drifting Apart? Quick Check

For busy parents • practical in 10-15 minutes

💬 Talks feel short or tense ⚡ Small stuff turns into fights 📵 Teamwork feels hard 🧊 Touch and warmth dropped off

Problem

When you can’t name it, stress gets louder.

Move

Each person gives 4 quick scores from 1 to 10.

Win

Try it once, then check again tomorrow night.

Do this tonight (10 minutes)

Copy/paste script: “I don’t want a big talk tonight. I just want one small win for us. Can we do a quick 10-minute check?”

Pick one of these and run it exactly tonight:

5-minute version: Read the copy/paste script out loud, then do one tiny action from this tool immediately.
10-minute version: Set a timer, follow the “Do this tonight” steps top to bottom, and stop when timer ends.
Couple-text version: Send this now: “Can we do Are We Drifting Apart? Quick Check tonight for 10 minutes? I already picked the first step so this is easy.”

If you feel stuck, use the 5-minute version first. Progress beats perfection.

Low energy

Only score closeness and teamwork. Pick one 5-minute action.

Normal night

Score all 4 areas. Add one action to tomorrow’s calendar.

Use Pause-and-Return now. Come back to this when you both feel calm.

📉 Fewer blowups 🛠️ Faster repair after hard moments 📈 Score up by 2 points

Rule: Keep what helps. If a step does not help after a week, swap it.

After this, run 10-Minute Weekly Meeting to keep your progress going.

When to use it: Use Are We Drifting Apart? Quick Check when this exact problem is happening now, not as a general reading exercise.
How often: Run it once today, then repeat 3-7 times before judging results.
Common mistake: Changing multiple things at once. Use one tool at a time so you can see what works.
If it feels awkward: Use the script exactly once, keep the first run under 10 minutes, and rate helpfulness 1-10.